Unstable
by FallenMystery
Summary: They start out as first years... then they hate each other... then they're married and Lily's pregnant and emotionally unstable! Yet again another fluffy oneshot! Well, until Voldemort shows up, anyway...


Disclaimer: Dude, I probably wasn't even born when Jo started thinking about Harry Potter… FIRST YEAR 

He was _popular_. That was the first thing Lily Evans really realized about James Potter. Well, after the fact that he was enticingly handsome. Oh, did I mention that he was a total prat? Let the prank war begin.

FOURTH YEAR 

Lily gazed at the ebony-haired boy through thick red lashes. He was in the middle of a small group of peers, he and his friends. They were the life of.. well, Hogwarts. McGonagall had told Lily that she was to work with the boy on their latest assignment. Lily sighed, frustrated. She hated working with people she pranked. It was so bad for business.

But the boy watched her walk over and patted the chair next to his own. "James Potter," he said.

"You're a flirt," Lily told him, hiding a smile behind a half-hearted scowl.

"You have no idea," he said with an easy grin.

.xXx.

Unaware of it, Lily found herself often with groups that contained James Potter. She didn't know that it was less than coincidence. He was a flirt, as she had rightly accused him. He teased and flirted with any girl who'd give him a listening ear. For James Potter, listening ears were abundant.

However, Lily noticed that he flirted with her more than he did the others. Through small touches on her shoulder, or an occasional arm around her waist, he quietly let her know that he was stalking her. This was all fine and dandy. Until fifth year.

FIFTH YEAR 

"I HATE YOU, JAMES POTTER," Lily screamed, for the entire Quidditch Stadium to hear. For emphasis, she threw her size seven shoe at him. Of course, it completely missed, but that's not the point here.

Lily stormed away. How could she have not noticed what an egocentric jerk he was? It's not like he tried to hide it or anything!

.xXx.

James, hurt by Lily's sudden change in attitude towards him, didn't stop his flirtations with the redhead. Somehow, she was even cuter when she was angry.

SIXTH YEAR 

Lily stubbornly glared down at her transfiguration essay, willing herself to write the next sentence. It was a really hard thing to do, as James Potter, the crème de la crème of Hogwarts, was staring at her. Used to be, James Potter was easy to ignore. Lily willed herself to ignore him. Then she discovered that it was hard to will herself to do something that her will knew was wrong. _I will not look at James Potter. I will not look at James Potter._ _I will not look at James Potter. I will not look at James Potter. I will not look at James Potter. I will not look at James Potter._

The redhead continued this for a while until she realized that she had been writing it on her transfiguration essay. And she was out of parchment. Damn. She looked up. James' face lit up when he saw her gaze. Lily flushed and looked back down, but she couldn't look at a paper that had James Potter's name written all over it, so she had to look back up. He was gone. Damn again.

Gentle hands settling on Lily's shoulders caused her to squeak and jump in her seat. She looked straight up into James Potter's hazel eyes. His eyes glimmered with a smirk that he wouldn't allow to touch his lips.

"Am I that bad to look at?" he asked, mock-hurt, placing a hand dramatically over his heart as he fell backwards over the couch to land on it upside down, looking up at Lily. She tried not to smile.

"No," she said. Then she scowled. "But I hate you."

"Then it should be easy not to look at me." Lily successfully ignored him. "I have something for you," he teased. Lily looked up to object, afraid that it would be another prank. Instead, she found herself face-to-foot with her very own size seven shoe. She gaped at it.

"You _kept_ that thing?" she asked.

"Of course!" he said, pretending to be shocked. "I keep everything you give me! Except for rabbit ears and black eyes, of course," he added.

"I didn't _give_ it to you," Lily mumbled, for lack of anything better to say. _Oh, right. I HATE JAMES POTTER. I hate James Potter. I hate James Potter. DAMMIT I'M WRITING IT DOWN AGAIN, AREN'T I?_

"Yes," James told her, not in the least disconcerted.

"Anyway, I threw it at you, hoping to knock you off of your broom and perhaps cause you to spend the rest of YOUR LIFE in the hospital wing."

James looked at her for a long moment. "You have a lot of anger."

"No shit, sherlock."

"Who's sherlock?"

"You don't know who sherlock is? Hahaha—it's a muggle thi—oh, never mind."

"Maybe you should find someone to give you some therapy. Or someone to snog." James raised his eyebrows suggestively.

Lily beat him with a pillow. "Shove it, Potter."

James was about to say 'where?', but thought better of it. Lily gathered her things and left. He looked balefully at her back as she walked away.

SEVENTH YEAR 

:CRASH: "Head boy! I can't believe this!" :WHOMP: "What the hell was Dumbledore thinking?" :SMASH: "I'm going to kill that little—" :BOOM: "If it's the last thing I do!" :SLAM:

James sat in the Head Common room, listening to the sounds. Wow, Lily was violent. The rant, as well of the breaking of inanimate objects, had been going on for about fifteen minutes. James was afraid. Very, VERY, afraid.

.xXx.

"Go ahead, Lils, give me a try!" James looked up at her with his hazel eyes. Yes, looked UP. Because he was on his knees at her feet, quite literally groveling.

"You're pathetic."

"I know."

Lily very carefully stepped around him and kept walking.

.xXx.

"You won't regret it, I promise!"

"Do you know what else I won't regret? This!" Lily turned him purple. Nearly the same shade as his lovely black eye…s.

.xXx.

"You are Head students!" Dumbledore said, even his patience at an end. "Stop trying to kill each other!"

"So can we use less harmful spells?" Lily asked sweetly, watching with interest as the Healer reattached James's ear.

.xXx.

"Evaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaans?"

"What Potter?" Lily looked up at him over the top of her book.

"Wanna go to Hogsmeade with meeeeeeeeeee?"

"Why are you talking like thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis?"

"Because of that speeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell."

"Oh, right."

"So you'll goooooooooooooo!"

"NO!"

"Then will you take off the speeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell?"

"No. Go bug Sirius."

"Okay my loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove."

"Ew."

.xXx.

"Hey James?"

"Yes darling?"

"Wanna go to Hogsmeade with me?"

James froze. Holy mother of god. Okay, control your emotions James, control, controoooooooool. "YES!"

"Good to know."

Dammit.

.xXx.

"Lils, wanna go to the astronomy tower with me?"

"Only if I get to push you off."

.xXx.

Everyone in the Great Hall gaped at the banner. It read gaudily,

**LILY EVANS, WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME?**

**LOVE, WITH ALL OF MY HEART, **

**JAMES POTTER**

"Miss Evans!" Shouted McGonagall. "What do you have to say for this?"

Lily looked at the banner for a long minute. "I say yes!" Obviously, McGonagall had been wanting Lily to 'fess up or something, not answer the banner.

And James? Nearly fainted, poor bloke. But, of course, didn't. 'Cos he's too manly for that kinda shit.

.xXx.

One by one, the Marauders walked across the Great Hall, headed to take their Wizarding Certificates. Dumbledore handed them the Certificates, smiling. The boys hugged McGonagall in a group hug.

"Didn't think we'd make it, didja, Minnie?" Sirius asked.

"I was hoping you would," McGonagall said, smiling at the boys who were truly her favorites.

"Good wishes for the future?" James asked.

"No, she just couldn't stand Sirius for one more moment," Remus said, grinning.

Sirius looked thoughtful. "Maybe I should fail myself…"

"NOOOOOO!" shouted all of the professors in the Hall.

.xXx.

"Now time for Lily Evans, Head Girl to give a farewell speech."

Lily, glowing, walked up to the podium.

"WAIT!" James shouted. Everyone turned towards him. He trotted up to Lily, then faced the crowd. "I have to ask Lils a quick question."

Lily was eyeing him suspiciously. Not a prank. Not on graduation. James kneeled in front of her. "Lily Evans, I love you, just so you know. I'm pretty sure you like me a little bit," they grinned at each other. Everyone in the hall was watching, but Lily and James only had eyes for each other. "So will you let these nice people know that you like me? Will you marry me?"

Lily pretended to think about her choice. "Hmmmmmmmm, well, you're easy on the eyes, even though you're a total prat. I gueeess, my answer will be… YES!" James grinned and slipped a ring over her finger, then gave his fiancé a sweet kiss. Of course, everyone went 'aaaaaaaaaaaw'.

Dumbledore cleared his throat. "All right, then. Now time for Lily Evans-Potter, Head Girl, to give a farewell speech." James and Lily grinned at the name. Lily Potter.

.xXx.

"You may kiss the bride."

And boy, did he kiss her!

.xXx.

Lily trembled, anxious. What would he say? It was soon, so soon! _Stay calm Lils. He loves you—besides, it's half his fault!_

James walked in the door, back from a day with the boys. "Hey sweetheart," he said, gathering his wife :HIS WIFE: into his arms and kissing her soundly. Immediately, he realized something was wrong. "What's the matter?" he asked, tilting her chin up to look into those emerald eyes.

"James?" her lower lip quivered. "We need to talk." James brow furrowed as he sat down on the couch, pulling Lily into his lap.

"Honey, you know I'm here for you. You can tell me anything."

"First of all," she said quietly. "I'd like to point out this it is so not entirely my fault." Lily took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant."

James stared for a long time, then carefully picked his wife up and set her on the couch and stood. Lily quivered. Was he angry? Then James jumped into the air, whooping.

"I'm gonna be a father!" He pulled Lily to her feet and kissed her passionately. "Let's go tell the boys!"

.xXx.

Sirius and Remus sat down at the table, looking suspiciously at Lily and James.

"So what was so important that you had to drag us both down here?"

"Lils?" James said.

Lily shrugged. "Go ahead."

"I'M GONNA BE A FATHER!"

Sirius and Remus looked from James, to Lily, to Lily's flat stomach. "YOU CHEATED ON LILY!"

Lily rolled her eyes. "I'm pregnant, dumbasses."

Moony and Padfoot looked at each other. "We're going to be uncles!"

.xXx.

:CRASH: James ducked out of the room, shutting the door behind him. Remus and Sirius looked at him with dog-like grins.

James shook his head. "Hormones."

.xXx.

The waitress looked at James in disbelief. "You want a _what?_"

James sighed. "Triple fudge, double nut, chocolate syrup, peanut butter, strawberry ice cream banana split with tobasco sauce, jalepenos, green olives, and an onion ring on top." The girl stared. "Please."

"Lemme see, triple fudge, double nut, chocolate syrup, peanut butter, strawberry ice cream banana split with tobasco sauce, jalepenos, and green olives?"

"And an onion ring on top."

"And an onion ring."

"Yes."

"It's three a.m."

"AND I HAVE A SIX MONTH PREGNANT WIFE WHO IS WAITING FOR HER TRIPLE FUDGE, DOUBLE NUT, CHOCOLATE SYRUP, PEANUT BUTTER, STRAWBERRY ICE CREAM BANANA SPLIT WITH TOBASCO SAUCE, JALEPENOS, GREEN OLIVES, AND ONION RING, SO I'D APPRECIATE IT IF YOU'D HURRY IT UP!"

The waitress hurried away and brought the concoction back in a few minutes. James carefully picked through it to make sure everything was included. "Thank you."

"Would you like some painkillers to go with that?"

"Oh my god, thank you!"

.xXx.

The waiter looked at James as if he was mad. "Excuse me?"

Fortunately, James was used to the routine by now. "Two tacos with ground beef, lettuce, tomatoes, tobasco sauce, and scrambled eggs, one order of queso with tobasco sauce and sugar, and one enchilada with chocolate chips. And tobasco sauce."

"That's really gross."

"You should watch her eat it."

.xXx.

James looked down at the scale. Wow. He hadn't been getting much sleep, and had been doing a lot of running around for Lily.

"Hey, Lils! I've lost five pounds!"

"YOU BASTARD! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH WEIGHT I HAVE GAINED! THIS BLOODY KID SHOULD NOT WEIGH THIS MUCH!" :CRASH:

"Not again."

.xXx.

Bleary eyed, James looked at the waitress. "Please don't ask me to repeat myself."

"Let's see… We've got one egg roll special stuffed with tobasco sauce and cookie crumbles, one vegetarian delight with steak and tobasco sauce, chicken lo mien with tobasco sauce and no chicken, and twenty two fortune cookies."

"I think I love you."

.xXx.

"Miss, I think I should let you know that it sounds dangerous."

"YOU DO NOT TELL A PREGNANT WOMAN THAT YOU WON'T PUT TOBASCO SAUCE IN A STRAWBERRY, CHOCOLATE, VANILLA, AND PEANUT BUTTER SMOOTHIE!"

"Security! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!"

:later:

"Miss?"

"WHAT?"

"Next time send your husband."

"DON'T TELL A PREGNANT WOMAN WHAT TO DO!"

"Security! Shit, I AM security! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!"

.xXx.

"James!" James, afraid of what she was going to send him to go get now, hesitated for a moment. "James Potter, get your arse in here now!" Startled by the tone of Lily's voice, James dashed into the room.

"What's the matter, ba—HOLY SHIT." Lily's water had quite obviously broken.

"Hospital? NOW?"

"Wait! I want to savor this moment! No more constantly hormonal Lily! Yay!" Lily threw something at him. "HOSPITAL. NOW."

.xXx.

The three Marauders trotted beside the bed as the nurse rolled it down the hall.

"Mini Marauder on the way!" Sirius's voice sang out, elated.

"God, you'd think _he_ was the father!" Lily muttered, face pale and sweating.

The doctor looked startled. "You mean he's not?" He quickly erased something on a clipboard.

"So _that's_ why they wanted all that information from me! I thought Jamesie was having me admitted or something! That's a relief!"

James leaned over to the doctor. "_Can_ we have him admitted?"

.xXx.

Lily screamed all sorts of profanities and death sentences at James as the nurse urged her to push. He wanted desperately to flee, as Remus and Sirius had done, but Lily had a death grip on him and was crushing all of the bones in his hand. When the petite redhead ran out of curses, she started in other languages. Eventually, she depleted that source and began making up curses. James wished dearly for earplugs.

"YOU BASTARD! I CAN NOT BELIEVE YOU WOULD DO THIS TO ME! NEXT TIME, YOU GET TO HAVE THE KID!" The screaming went on and on, most of it less age-friendly than I've written here.

"Look on the bright side," the doctor told James. "At least she's thinking about more children. My wife threatened to castrate me with a pair of sewing scissors."

James went pale and resumed the fight to get away from Lily. And then, you know, it was over. Lily's screams stopped, to be replaced with a thin wail and the proclamation of "It's a boy! And with his mum's green eyes, too."

Soon enough, the clean baby was placed in his mother's arms. The child looked around at the world through bright green eyes from under his heavy mop of thick black hair. James leaned over Lily's shoulder, his hands gently massaging the tension from her neck as he gazed at their son.

"He's beautiful." The family enjoyed a few quiet moments together before Sirius and Remus burst in, eager to see the first Mini-Marauder.

"What should we name him?" Lily wondered.

"Heath?" Remus suggested.

"Dan?" was James's idea.

"What about 'Remus'?" Sirius wanted to know.

Lily gazed at the baby. "I was thinking more of a family name."

"My middle name is Harold," James said doubtfully. "It was my great, great, great grandfather's name. He invented the broomstick." Ah! The answer to the Potter fortune!

Lily made a face. "Naming a kid Harold… that's just cruel."

"Tell me about it."

Then Lily's face turned thoughtful. "What about Harry?" Everyone peered at the baby. He gazed back at them with the face of innocence.

"Harry. I like it," James said.

"I still liked 'Remus'," Sirius muttered. Remus rolled his eyes.

"Harry James," Remus decided.

"It has a ring to it," James said, grinning.

"Well, then," Lily said with finality. "I dub thee Harry James Potter. My thy name serve thee well and honorably."

"Here, here!"

.xXx.

James held Lily in his arms while they watched their child playing on the floor. For all James had worried that his eyes might change color, Lily had assured them that they wouldn't. Sure enough, they had stayed a bright, sparkling, emerald. They were a family, completely happy with each other.

Suddenly someone crashed at the door. The couple went whiter than death. "Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! Go! Run! I'll hold him off—"

Unthinking, Lily hurried to scoop her baby into her arms. She turned to see James's face… he watched her, his eyes full of love and fear for her. "AVADA KEDAVRA!" Lily held her love's eyes as he fell to the floor. Her heart, it seemed, stopped beating right then.

Voldemort turned his wand to the young mother and her child.

"Not Harry," she whispered. "Not Harry, please not Harry!"

"Stand aside, you silly girl… stand aside now…"

"Not Harry, please no, take me, kill me instead—" Lily's head swam with thoughts. James was dead. James was dead. James was dead. Lily was the brightest witch of her time, she knew things that no other living personages did. She knew that the end of her life, taken in such a way, meant the safety of her child.

"AVADA KEDAVRA!" Truthfully, Lily could have dodged the curse, honestly she could have. But to what purpose? To live, and see the deaths of the two men who she loved more than life itself? James was dead, and her heart and soul along with him. The only thing she had left to live for was Harry, and the only way he would live was if she died.

All of this Lily thought over before the curse reached her. Her life ended, and she fell to land beside James, the knight of her heart. And Voldemort was destroyed.

FIN

Luv, Sam


End file.
